St. Cyprian to Donatus

This seems a cheerful world, Donatus, when I view it from this fair garden under the shadow of these vines. But if I climbed some great mountain and looked out over the wide lands, you know very well what I would see; brigands on the high road, pirates on the seas, in the amphitheaters men murdered to please the applauding crowds, under all roofs, misery and selfishness. It really is a bad world, Donatus, an incredibly bad world.

Yet, in the midst of it, I have found a quiet and holy people. They have discovered a joy which is a thousand times better than any pleasure of this sinful life. They are despised and persecuted, but they care not. They have overcome the world. These people, Donatus, are Christians... and I am one of them.

*Gordan MacDonald, Forging a Realworld Faith

Every year we hold our breath for October to come. It's our favorite time of year. We love buying pumpkins and carving them and baking pumpkin bread... I hold out all year to make it even though I could eat it every morning for breakfast, so that it's really special when the first day of fall comes and we step outside to go to the library and it's too cold to go without jackets. I love it. It's the grand entrance of the most wonderful time of the year.

This year we anticipated a big move far away to live amongst people that didn't know us and a church that would take months to embrace us if they chose to. But for whatever reason, God in His infinite wisdom led us down a path that seems almost too good to be true. We already have a life there with friends and family and a home and hope for the body of Christ. It's close to home and it's home at the same time.

Right now I'm just holding the reigns steady, trying to do what we do everyday until I can start the moving process. We carved this pumpkin Monday and it was full of fruit flies and rot this morning so we had to chuck it. But I look forward to carving a new one the christen our front porch as soon as we're settled.

Sometimes I have dreams that I'll be living my normal life in my normal house and then I'll open a closet door only to discover another wing on my house that I've never seen and it is spectacular. That's how I feel about the house we are moving in to. I've seen the outside but only the inside from peering through the windows. Then last night Dale informed me of an additional bedroom that I was unaware of. I had that same exhilerating feeling when he told me.

At this point we are planning to be in town next weekend to clean and paint. I've never moved into a clean house with new paint. We've always done it after we got there. I am thrilled at the possibility of just having to put stuff away. God is so good to us. I can hardly believe it.

Sweet dreams and orange marmalade

Ironically, this time of year thousands of caterpillars are climbing up on branches and somehow encapsulating themselves in tiny cocoons where they will stay so that when the time is right they can wiggle through a tiny hole in the bundle and squeeze themselves out into a life of flight and freedom with new wings.

Such is our life... We've been preparing and working and pursuing a life that was not meant for us to live right now, only all the work we did is convertible. It's all beneficial to the door that God has opened wide before us. All the studying, weight loss, financial fixing, it all works for this new concept for our lives.

I perceive it like the little caterpillar; when he comes to life, his mission is to eat, eat, eat, to prepare for the time he will be imprisoned in that cocoon. Only for him it is not suffering, it's necessity for the task he was created to complete.

So here we are, full from the preparations we've been slaving over. In the coming months, we will have grown our wings and be learning to fly. But for the time being, I looking into the daunting task of cocooning; waiting, packing, moving, then reclamation my family to daily life, new life. It's a cocoon and I'm claustrophobic.

God has opened the door for us to take a secular job in Omaha in order to begin a community building project, the task of drawing scattered sheep back into the fold in order to live, work, play and run the race together. It seems almost too good to be true the way things have worked out. We will be moving the last weekend in October, potentially.

Thank you for praying and continuing to pray for my family. I cannot tell you the reassurance that I have every time someone prays for me or tells me they will be praying for us. It's my life line in times like this.

(Times when the marmalade keeps running out the turkey)

zzzing, zzziNG, ZZZINNNGGG!!!

Seems like as soon as you have it all figured out, all the balls fall out of your hands and you have to start all over again, picking up one at a time, toss-catch, toss-catch, now the next, toss-toss-catch-toss-catch, toss... and another- toss, now faster so the next one can get in, oops, woah! Here they come, and now I'm screaming at the Trebo for spilling water on the table at lunch. Wait, start again with just one. Put a load of laundry in. Now two, get the dishes cleaned up. Three, bathe the children and load up for the grocery store. Did Kennedy comb her hair? Jas has a bumpy pony tail. That'll work. Don't forget the salad toppins... alright. All going at the same time. House is clean. Dinner is in the oven. The groceries are put away. There are four conversations happening at the same time, all aimed at me and the phone is ringing. I have two hours until I have to be at work... Alright. A week from Thursday I'll call and set the date to switch the utilities. Put in my two weeks. Shut off the cell phones. Pack the toys. Set out towels and pack the bathroom. One week following pack the kitchen and the living room... Bedrooms last. Hoping Dale will be able to come home at least once in there sometime before we load the truck. Starting to feel the overwhelmingness in my body first- the rolling and churning in my guts. No, I'm not... it's ok. I'm excited. It's happy. Why am I crying? No no, it's good. Did I even turn my attention to my only Strength one time today? Yes. Whispered a prayer in the shower. Oh yeah. Settle. Settle. Settle! BLAST these wretched tears! I'm tired. Must be strong. Must stay focused. Do the next thing. WHICH ONE??? THERE ARE TOO MANY! TOO MANY!

Ever played Diner Dash? I did yesterday for 90 minutes. The only 90 minutes I had to nap before I went to work all night while the kids were sleeping and quiet. I was playing a game, trying to master something, one thing that was in my control. Ironically, I was out of control. 5 more minutes, no 15. Ok. 15. Now 30. Woops, an hour. It's my vice. Sucks me in and burns up precious time. Weird, I know. Gotta have one. At least it doesn't give me cancer or heart disease, right?

I needed to write something to settle me so that I can sleep now for a few hours before Dale leaves for work. You are my friend. Pray for me. I'm a little overwhelmed today.