Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
this is the song that never ends....
We started with a tummy bug, then colds that were actually fever that actually was Influenza B. And after seven people cycled through both of those- tummy bug eight- we started over with the stomach flu again! WOOHOO!
This is the flu that never ends,
it just goes on and on my friends...
Somebody started getting it, not knowing who it's from,
and then we kept on getting it forever
just because this is the flu that never ends...
I want to have the baby. I mean, I go back and forth. I want to wait until my family is not coughing or sniffling or vomitting or chilling or running to the toilet for other unmentionable reasons. But part of me is sure that I'm ready now and that it could- it should- happen at any given second.
I'm crabby. I want to be done with all of this. I want to have a normal day-to-day routine that works and sticks. I've never had that, but I want it. Even when we aren't sick I don't have that, really. But I think about having it and it'd be nice.
Deisha started potty training- oh--- maybe a month ago or more. She would go days and days without an accident, until she had to poop and then she'd hide and let it go. Now she's wetting her pants four, five, six times a day. I want her to be potty trained. I made this mistake with Kennedy and said I'd never do it again, but I am. I'm forcing it. She CAN stay dry, she just doesn't want to.
I gotta go. There's no rest. There's no escape. I'm starting to lose it a little.
lvb
This is the flu that never ends,
it just goes on and on my friends...
Somebody started getting it, not knowing who it's from,
and then we kept on getting it forever
just because this is the flu that never ends...
I want to have the baby. I mean, I go back and forth. I want to wait until my family is not coughing or sniffling or vomitting or chilling or running to the toilet for other unmentionable reasons. But part of me is sure that I'm ready now and that it could- it should- happen at any given second.
I'm crabby. I want to be done with all of this. I want to have a normal day-to-day routine that works and sticks. I've never had that, but I want it. Even when we aren't sick I don't have that, really. But I think about having it and it'd be nice.
Deisha started potty training- oh--- maybe a month ago or more. She would go days and days without an accident, until she had to poop and then she'd hide and let it go. Now she's wetting her pants four, five, six times a day. I want her to be potty trained. I made this mistake with Kennedy and said I'd never do it again, but I am. I'm forcing it. She CAN stay dry, she just doesn't want to.
I gotta go. There's no rest. There's no escape. I'm starting to lose it a little.
lvb
Saturday, January 08, 2011
The List
I'm making SUCH great progress on my list that I decided to stop and give you a little update. Don't get excited, no px yet. My room is occupied by a very sick dude right now so I can't get to my camera at present. Soon I will, soon!
It's getting so close. I'm having a baby soon. A new life is coming into my world. For so many of my pregnancies I have known what to expect. I know that for a year, or so, I won't sleep more than a few hours at a time. I will cry every day for most of that year; not sad tears, just random tears of varying emotions. I will wear maternity clothes for part of it because I will not lose most of the baby weight until close to the end of that year. In the meantime I will change hundreds and hundreds of diapers. I will endure the all-encompassing chore of breastfeeding. (Those first weeks are bad.... verrrrry bad for me.) No one else will be able to comfort the baby like I will, which means my life will not be my own for a long, long time. This has been the focus of the last few.
This time I feel differently. I have these amazing little lives coming into adulthood, slowly but surely, that are blossoming into individuals right before my eyes. The potential for each of them is awe-inspiring. I love it! I love that God keeps blessing us with new life. (Listen, I know I wrote something very different just days ago. This is what is real today.) God is good, soooo soooo good. I feel at peace about what is to come; I no longer feel overwhelmed by all the changes coming. I am ready to bring my baby home to partake in the goodness of the blessings of the Lord in our lives, and all the chaos and insanity that we add to that pot!
lvb
It's getting so close. I'm having a baby soon. A new life is coming into my world. For so many of my pregnancies I have known what to expect. I know that for a year, or so, I won't sleep more than a few hours at a time. I will cry every day for most of that year; not sad tears, just random tears of varying emotions. I will wear maternity clothes for part of it because I will not lose most of the baby weight until close to the end of that year. In the meantime I will change hundreds and hundreds of diapers. I will endure the all-encompassing chore of breastfeeding. (Those first weeks are bad.... verrrrry bad for me.) No one else will be able to comfort the baby like I will, which means my life will not be my own for a long, long time. This has been the focus of the last few.
This time I feel differently. I have these amazing little lives coming into adulthood, slowly but surely, that are blossoming into individuals right before my eyes. The potential for each of them is awe-inspiring. I love it! I love that God keeps blessing us with new life. (Listen, I know I wrote something very different just days ago. This is what is real today.) God is good, soooo soooo good. I feel at peace about what is to come; I no longer feel overwhelmed by all the changes coming. I am ready to bring my baby home to partake in the goodness of the blessings of the Lord in our lives, and all the chaos and insanity that we add to that pot!
lvb
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Sickies
Writing more talking less...? Hardly.
It's a lofty goal for month nine.
There is so much I want to do, and there are a million distractions that keep me from being functional.
I have a houseful of sick kids today. It's been a gradual progression of fallout. One went down, then another, then two more... now all six feeling yucky, moaning, drinking Sprite, eating crackers. The fevers are almost gone with the exception of the latecomers. I'm ok, I don't mind taking a sick day from school in exchange for a marathon of movies. The big kids are still considerate of overworking me and the little ones don't have the energy to ask for much. It could be so much worse. And I feel good- that helps. Only, I'm a little concerned about being this close to my due date with so much infection floating around the house. I may lock the kids in the basement for a few hours so I can air the house and disinfect everything.
As far as being prepared for another baby, I could hardly be prepared. I was lying in bed monitoring the coughing through the night and thinking about why I feel so unprepared. Honestly, the only thing you need for a new baby is a safe place for it to sleep and warm clothes. Breastfeeding, check. Diapers- they give you some at the hospital. I've got clean sheets for the cosleeper and a carseat... I am emotionally unprepared. Each baby has come as a surprise, a gift. The ones closer to the end of the line have also come with the shock factor. With that I sort of deny the reality for the first few months, endure the pregnancy for the next few, and then convince myself that it's really happening at the end, thus coming to full preparedness. With Deisha I woke up surprised to find a baby crying next to me for more than a few weeks every night. This time I am sure it will be much the same. I feel a little crazy for feeling this way and for saying it out loud. I'm sure you think it should be old hat by this time, but it's just not. It's new every time. I'll have more help this time and more emotional support closeby.
Here's my conclusion. I love my life. I don't like disruptions. I struggle with change. After moving for the 49th time and adding children every few years for the past 15 years, you'd think I'd accept it, but it's just not the way I am. I will be elated to hold my new baby and bring it home to join my family. It's the unknown that holds me back from fully embracing my circumstances. I don't know how much my life will change, how much I'll have to take from one to give to another, how long I'll be hormonally hijacked from being my normal self.
So that's where I'm at. I really want to post some pictures, and I will. After the list is done. And the list is long. But I will soon. I even had Kennedy snap one belly shot for those of you that have asked. Prepare yourself. It's a little shocking.
lvb
It's a lofty goal for month nine.
There is so much I want to do, and there are a million distractions that keep me from being functional.
I have a houseful of sick kids today. It's been a gradual progression of fallout. One went down, then another, then two more... now all six feeling yucky, moaning, drinking Sprite, eating crackers. The fevers are almost gone with the exception of the latecomers. I'm ok, I don't mind taking a sick day from school in exchange for a marathon of movies. The big kids are still considerate of overworking me and the little ones don't have the energy to ask for much. It could be so much worse. And I feel good- that helps. Only, I'm a little concerned about being this close to my due date with so much infection floating around the house. I may lock the kids in the basement for a few hours so I can air the house and disinfect everything.
As far as being prepared for another baby, I could hardly be prepared. I was lying in bed monitoring the coughing through the night and thinking about why I feel so unprepared. Honestly, the only thing you need for a new baby is a safe place for it to sleep and warm clothes. Breastfeeding, check. Diapers- they give you some at the hospital. I've got clean sheets for the cosleeper and a carseat... I am emotionally unprepared. Each baby has come as a surprise, a gift. The ones closer to the end of the line have also come with the shock factor. With that I sort of deny the reality for the first few months, endure the pregnancy for the next few, and then convince myself that it's really happening at the end, thus coming to full preparedness. With Deisha I woke up surprised to find a baby crying next to me for more than a few weeks every night. This time I am sure it will be much the same. I feel a little crazy for feeling this way and for saying it out loud. I'm sure you think it should be old hat by this time, but it's just not. It's new every time. I'll have more help this time and more emotional support closeby.
Here's my conclusion. I love my life. I don't like disruptions. I struggle with change. After moving for the 49th time and adding children every few years for the past 15 years, you'd think I'd accept it, but it's just not the way I am. I will be elated to hold my new baby and bring it home to join my family. It's the unknown that holds me back from fully embracing my circumstances. I don't know how much my life will change, how much I'll have to take from one to give to another, how long I'll be hormonally hijacked from being my normal self.
So that's where I'm at. I really want to post some pictures, and I will. After the list is done. And the list is long. But I will soon. I even had Kennedy snap one belly shot for those of you that have asked. Prepare yourself. It's a little shocking.
lvb
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