Summertime

The kids in our neighborhood all went back to school this week, so before that happened, I snapped a couple of pictures of their summertime activities for posterity's sake.
This little stinker, don't you just want to scoop her up? I do too! And I do every chance I get.
Trek and Tre were play fighting on the trampoline this morning and Trek clocked Tre in the nose; Tre came in with a bloody nose howling about how he was going to get Tre back. Micah came storming in shortly after snarling about how Trek better watch out because he was going to get it back. I reminded them of Jesus's forgiveness and told them that they needed to forgive Trek. After a couple of failed attempts, I let them know that if they didn't practice forgiveness, I was going to get them back. They're all best friends again.
Jasmine is such a mommy already, she always takes to the little ones immediately. This is a continuation of the tea party she hosted on our stoop the day before school started. She is such a jewel!
Of course you can't forget the hours we spent in front of the Wii... and all the neighborhood kids' joy along with us.

Gotta love the summertime! Woohoo! Just a couple short weeks until ours is done too...

Sparkpeople

For a few months, I've been vicariously doing weight watchers, using the manual points calculator and logging my food journal on Word. After some prodding from other users, I had decided to sign up for Weight Watchers online; my manual entries were not cutting the mustard. As a matter of fact, I plateaued and then started to gain weight so I was doing something wrong. While I was on the Internet searching for some answers and found this goldmine: www.sparkpeople.com It's a lot like Weight Watchers Online, only it calculates fat and calories and is totally free! I've been using it for a little over two weeks and only have about five pounds to lose to meet my goal weight. I'm so excited about it, I just had to share it with you here.

One thing about it that really intrigued me is that the guy that started it is a multi-millionaire and set it up and made it free to *spark people* to lose weight. He is a health philanthropist. I look forward to getting on everyday, there are all kinds of motivational tools and incentives to stay the course; it's so fun! Check it out and let me know what you think.

Deisha

I love this outfit; someone that Dale works with gave this to her and I had to get a picture before she outgrew it! This shot is clearly on a rainy day in Deisha's world.
She still fusses, but the sun is starting to come out for her. She's smiling and laughing and learning all about her hands because she is constantly investigating them. I love that!!!
I just took this picture a minute ago. For about three shots she smiled right before the flash. On the other four she smiled right after. She's gonna be a stinker just like her older brother and sister. Get ready world, there's another Sutton on the horizon!

Betcha!

... thought I fell off the face the earth??? Well I didn't. I'm still here. We had Tre's birthday, which I've been meaning to write about and post pictures and haven't yet, so I thought I'd wait until I got that done, but I have to load the pictures. For some reason loading the pictures seems like the most daunting task and I just haven't gotten it done. I even bought batteries and everything... it's just one more thing.

So I have this baby that cries all the time. OK, she doesn't cry all the time. She only cries when I can't hold her and she wants me to, or she's falling asleep and she really doesn't want to, or she wants to nurse instead of take the pacifier, and I can't sit on the couch all day long. As much as it might simplify my frustration, I just can't. I had resigned to the fact that she was fussy during the day, but after I got her into bed, she would sleep until daybreak. Whew. I had from about nine o'clock to seven o'clock to decompress from the day. However, she has decided to transfer her contentment to various parts of the day- not one long stretch, just an hour here, an hour there. So last night, and the night before that, and the night before that, she's been waking about every half hour to switch sides. Seriously, this baby wants to be latched on all night long. I am going crazy.

Sometimes I want to yell, sometimes I want to cry, and sometimes I just plain want to run head first through the sliding glass doors to release some of this tension. There's this war inside me because I want, more than anything, to enjoy these next few months because it will probably be the last time I have a baby, and I love having a baby so much. In fact I adore it, but she's making it so tough to really enjoy. And then, when she's happy, she looks into my eyes and smiles the most endearing smile and even laughs sometimes because we're so in love with each other. I'm Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde; totally happy one minute, totally miserable the next hour.

That's the other reason I haven't been here. But I'll tell you one thing; the complex B vitamin really does work. And here's why. There are some-- undesirable side effects of this vitamin, some minor intestinal side effects. They affect the entire household if you know what I mean, without getting too graphic here. So I stopped taking them just to see if that was really the case or maybe it was some weird leftover postpartum issue. Lo and behold, the issue ceased after a few days, but my moods took an immediate dive. Now, I've been back on for a week and I am back to feeling grounded and level. I didn't yell at my kids even one time all of last week and I was a single parent to boot. So that's a blessing.

Please pray for my little Deisha. (DAY-shuh; rhymes with geisha. Some spell it Dacia, just in case you were wondering.) If there's something we can do to regulate her schedule and her moods, I would do just about anything at this point. I thrive on normalcy and right now there is none; it's making me loco.

Disappointment

I have, countless times, been disappointed in my life. Disappointment should be a friend to me. I am the queen of dashed expectations. I have said for years that if I could just lower my expectations of circumstances I would live a more simple life laced with sweeter happiness. But somehow I cannot make the shift. I am an optimist almost to a fault. While it strengthens my faith on certain levels, filling me with hope, it also trips me up time and time again.

There's this war inside me between the acknowledgement that I have everything I've ever hoped for, and the daily let-downs that threaten my peace. It's like swinging from branch to branch- I get one thing resolved and swing on to the next so I can fret over it. It's strange because I know I have everything. I lack nothing. But I freak out if I get a bill I didn't expect or a phone call that bugs me. I don't know. Someday I'll find a balance and learn to live in quiet submission under the sovereignty of God and his perfect, sustaining grace.

But for now what I have in this life, is a promise. It's the hope that I always come back to when I get tripped up by something insurmountable.

"Behold, I lay in Zion, a stone of stumbling and a rock of offense. And he who believes in Him will not be disappointed."