To Dale

Hi.  I really, really love you.

Leila's Scarf

I forgot to mention the chenille scarf Dale made for Leila.  It turned out so cute.  She wore it to bed that night.

So last night I made a long list of things I want to get done this week.  I'm such an overachiever that I quick did a couple of things to get them off the list before I went to bed, as if I had no time at all in the next week with no school and no other schedule requirements from now until Sunday morning.  Seriously, I am a free agent. 

Know what I did this morning?  I'll give you a clue!  ZZZzzzzz  That's right.  I slept on the couch for a very long time.  Now that I'm up I think I'll make myself some breakfast and get going on the list.  If I can get it all done before the kids start back up with school, I'm taking them to Chuck E Cheese!!!  HAHA!  There's some good motivation.  I'll let you know my progress.

Dale's Homemade Christmas

I will post more pictures of this sweet action soon, I just couldn't wait to share some of Dale's gifts from the homemade Christmas.  This a gocart that he made for the boys.  You can't believe how excited everyone was to ride this.  There are fights over whose turn it is everyday.

He made Deisha a hat.  Isn't it sweet?  Jasmine kept sneaking away with it and wearing it when Deisha wasn't paying attention.  When the new neighbors walked by though, she ripped it off and asked me if her hair looked ok.  Where does that come from???

He also made Jasmine's scarf, and Kennedy's hat.  I  know, right?  He made me a scarf too but I don't have good picture of it yet.  You can kind of see it in the next one, but I'll post a few more so you can see the true craftsmanship.

 

Who knew that hulking beefcake of a man was so good with a crochet hook?  He still surprises me.

Rippin'

Trebo got a ripstick for Christmas.  Now, on top of wearing the helmet, the elbow pads, and the knee pads, he also walks around all day wearing a chest protector.  He also comes running in the house crying about every half hour.  He's a wild child, it's his nature.  So I don't coddle him every time he comes in the door, I just make sure he's not really hurt; usually he's not.  Then he runs back out the door to the top of the hill to give it another go.  Tough guy.  I'm sure he'll eventually go pro.  At something...

Confessions

Awhile back a friend of mine made a comment about how blogging is the modern-day confessional.  People get on the page, write their secrets, their failures, their realities, and in the privacy of their own home, usually from a quiet room to a silent audience, they have this sense of relief.  I sort of resented that; it's true and I do it, but I more consciously filter.  I want you to know that I have real problems, but I don't want you to think that it's because of me or that I am as much of a joker as I really might be.

Like right now, I've been hustling around all day trying to catch up, reorganize, sort and trash this whole place.  When my kids announced that they were going to bed at 7 so they could watch movies in bed, I was thrilled.  Ecstatic, actually, at the possibility of being able to get the rest of my work done without having to trip over or physically remove children from my path.  I'm kind of wretched that way.  Only the thing is, they've been outside most of the day.  They did come in and leave trails all over the house, but it was a mess anyway because of my reorganization project so you never would've known they were here.  And now at the end of the day, I just want some peace and quiet.  Sometimes I feel so guilty about that.  They are no trouble to me, work,  yes, trouble, no.  They're my dream come true.  But I spend all this time scooting them around and figuring ways to busy them so that I can have some time to myself, and then when I get that, I feel guilty.  Is there no rest for a mother?  My mom says it's a mother's curse.  I have to agree. 

And guess what else.  I took our tree down before Christmas Day was over.  YES I DID!  I know. Dale kept calling me the Grinch.  I'm Bergermeister Meisterberger.  (I secretly hate toys).  I just couldn't stand all the clutter for one more second, and there was a lot of it.  Besides the decor, we had the crafting supplies, all the new gifts, the boxes from gifts, and the usual run-of-the-mill mess.  It was driving me crazy.  I'm moving soon.  (HA---LE-LU-JAH!  HA---LE-LU-JAH!!!)  The list of todos is really starting to jack with my head.  Once the kids go back to school, we start the countdown.  I need to get as much done before that day as possible.  It's really quite overwhelming. 

Today my neighbor came to my house and I was so embarrassed about how filthy my house was, how I was still in baggy workout clothes and my hair was in a messy pony tail, that I didn't even invite her in.  Now I feel guilty, like I should call and give her some sort of explanation, but at the same time, why?  To let her know that this isn't how I really am?  She looked so pretty with her makeup and hair do... Me in my clutter and mess.  I'm kind of a trainwreck sometimes.  People ought to know. 

Jammies

In keeping with our Homemade Christmas, the girls had requested some "old time" nightgowns and caps.  Initially I searched for an online pattern and planned to crank them out myself, but after some thought I decided it may be better to delegate the project.  You can see why I'm glad I did!

It's a pretty common thing for my mother-in-law to make pajamas for the kids each Christmas, so when she asked if I had any ideas, I gave her this one along with a few others.  I gave this idea to my mom too because I knew they would get a thrill out of getting two different "old time" gowns, which they immediately requested the morning after sleeping in these: another one in a differen color.

  Look at my little antique angels.... just dahhhling!!!  They make me laugh.  Look at all their slippers too!  Thanks Aunt April, they were a big hit! 

The Playhouse

I can't full express my pure joy in the full appreciation I have received for making this playhouse. It really was not that much work, a few afternoons at the table with the kiddos all busily working on their projects and few evenings of handwork, but really considering the project, it wasn't too much.

Here's a view from the window. Between my two girls, the sloppiest ones, they had the playhouse floor as messy as their bedroom in no time!

I just snapped this from the kitchen. The apples are velcro and can go off and on. (Note to self: Next time do not attempt iron-on velcro with felt.) That tree started out so simply and then Tre joined the crafters and immediately cut a large chunk out of my pattern piece on the table. Then I cut a new one and it burned and shrank when I followed the instructions on the velcro pattern. So did the pillowcase I used between the iron and the felt. Yipes! The squirel was a fiasco too. I should've cut him out of felt, but I had some corduroy and thought it would be so cute until I cut it and it frayed all over the place. That left me finishing the edges, which was a shinanigan because it was so curvy.

Deisha doesn't quite get that the door is the door.  The windows are so much more accessable.

But as long as she can get in and out, whatever.  I seriously considered covering the windows with netting, but I thought it would be an unnecessary hassle.  Guess I'll rethink that on the first repair job.  Lovin it!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Our very first homemade Christmas went off without a hitch!!! It was a scramble there at the end, but the kids were all pleased with their homegrown surprises. Micah inadvertently requested a Scott Farcus hat, which explains this sweet expression on his face.

The kids didn't start creeping into the living room until about 6:15 this morning, which was a lovely surprise. I lay in bed for about 20 minutes listening to them whisper and sneak and squeal; music to my ears.

When I saw this thing the first time, I immediately went to work on it for Tre. I think it suits him so well. Look at that moostashee!!!

The bedlam was only magnified by our narrow living room, which made it all the more wonderful. I was even a teensy bit sad thinking about how much bigger our living room will be next year and how the piles of gifts will be strewn from wall to wall. (I'm speaking in faith here.)

Leila has been asking for this very bag since the first day we found out we were moving. She's had it in tow all morning. It's really fun when they're this easy to thrill.

She wasn't interested in gifts and kept tossing them away every time someone tried to put one in her hands. After she woke up a little and realized that all the noise was excitement and not meanness, she decided to participate. I'm still not sure that she opened a single wrapped gift, but she loved them once they were unveiled.

Here is a quick shot of the completed house and Leila's legwarmers. I will take more photos when the real house is picked up. Priorities, you know...

Here's the happy sweet face of the Christmas Daddy; it's a Christmas miracle from our house to yours!!!

Merry Christmas Eve!!!

You may not be surprised to learn that we spent Christmas Eve Eve celebrating. The calendar showed us favor on our last Christmas celebration in California by offering Dale two special days off right before Christmas instead of splitting the days with inmates. So as soon as he got here, I ran to store to stock up on groceries and whatnots so that we could snuggle down in front of a roaring stack of Christmas movies and not come out until after the celestial day. What I didn't count on was the hex bolt being too big for the go cart. And I forgot the marshmallows for the sweet potatoes. And bread. Then after the second trip to Albertsons, I bought Coke instead of Coke Zero, so instead of going twice in one day, Dale made a third trip. I can pretty much guarantee that we'll be out again today, it's just that I'm sort of an idealist and I really like to think that things will go just the way I hope they will go. (Note to self: Things never go the way I hope they will go.)

Fortunately, I have managed to finish and wrap all of my Christmas presents before today so I feel accomplished and relieved. I used to love wrapping. I remember mapping out my design for the presents before I had even purchased the gifts, the color of the wrapping paper, the wired ribbons, the delicately cut gift tag, the works. Now that there are a thousand gifts to wrap, I have to be honest, I basically roll it up, slap the tape, and write the name with a sharpie. As a matter of fact, I wrapped one of Leila's gifts in bubble wrap and packaging tape when the wrapping paper started to run low. Some things just don't matter anymore. They just want to tear into the gifts anyway, and my tree looks like an avalanche of gifts so it can't be about fancying up the bottom half.

Hey, guess what! I found my Halloween costume for next year; next year when I am a resident of Missouri and take my children trick-or-treating in a Smalltown, USA!! It's pictured above. I'm Spongebob! HAHA!! And by the way, that's exactly how I feel right now. It's Christmas Eve! It's the most wonderful time the year!

Merry Christmas to all of you, my faithful friends and readers!! Maybe next year we'll all drink egg nog together in my living room. xoxo

Christmas Bliss

Dear Christmas,

I can see you peeking out of my future and making your way into my present.

I know that it's necessary for you to come, but the anticipation of your arrival makes for such rich memories. I can hardly bare the disappearance of your sweet face on my calendar...

I think of you long before the school supplies are taken down and replaced with black cats and orange pumpkins.

And during the summertime I push away thoughts of you when I am reminded of a favorite Christmas tune, forcing myself to not indulge in singing the words aloud as they are reserved for only this precious time of year.

And then you come with all your holly and ivy,

twinkle lights and jingle bells,

egg nog and pumpkin bread,

and the reflection of Jesus everywhere I look, no matter who tries to cover it up.

You're marvelous and I adore you.

So please, just one more week... just let this one more week shine even brighter with your magic and wonder and the glory of God.

lvb

Smallness

I love basketball season. Granted, when you have this many kids, it's a little loco trying to juggle practice schedules and games schedules and snack schedules, but when we are sitting in the bleachers watching one of our own running up and down the court, I get really excited. I may even, at times, embarrass my family with my whooping and screaming and spontaneous leaps from the bleachers. I don't mind causing a ruckus, and honestly I don't think my kids mind either. It's the people next to me that don't know me from Adam that I fret over.

So last week when I was sitting next to one of my neighbors at the game, I explained to her that "I have a small life. These basketball games are the highlight of my week."

That smallness has hung in my head ever since. It's difficult to explain my life as small. I mean let's get real, six children? That's huge. I have a huge life. It's the box that's small. And the circumstances, we are all in one place most of the time. About half the time, even in our little box of a residence, we are all in the same room. When my kids start to grow and spread the branches, my life will get bigger and more complex. Which is ironic because as they grow, my role shrinks, making my work smaller and theirs greater, but it's still my life, my huge-normous life.

It's like we are all crammed inside the seed waiting to sprout and send out roots. Ahh... the day is coming for us to send out our roots!

With that said, we've found the house. I can't promise that God has given us this house, but I really do believe in my heart, that this house is the one that we've been praying for Him to save for us ever since we landed here. You've all been so faithful to pray that God would bring us home, and thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! A million thanks to you for that! Now would you pray "And gift them their house."? We are believing that it is ours for the taking, we just have to step out in faith. We need the seller to come WAAAAAAYYYYYY down, but we BELIEVE he will, with a little nudge from the Gift Giver, Giver of all good things. I know that God hears and answers prayer. We are already dreaming dreams for this place as a refuge for widows and orphans. All we ask is the mention of this small requests to our precious Lord, "And gift the Sutton's their house."

Thank you, and hey, remember Nick? He was in our family picture. He's not mine, but I'd take him!! xoxo

Long time no see!

Goodbye, California, Goodbye!

WE ARE MOV-ING!

WE ARE MO-VING!

WEAREMOVING! WEAREMOVING!

WE A-ARE MO-VING!!!

(To the tune of the Hallelujah Chorus)

Home never looked as good as it does right now. We're coming home.

Jesus Reigns!

Waiting

It's the waiting that drives me crazy.

Maybe you've heard that we applied for Leavenworth last month. I feel like I've lived a lot of my life waiting for my real life to start. Here I am a third of the way through and I'm still waiting for the next chapter so my real life can start. It's not that I don't take this part seriously, because I do. It's just that I have this idea of what it should look like, and it doesn't. Some things do, like the dreamy husband and houseful of kids, but this little bitty borrowed place that we call home doesn't fit the model of my real life. And neither does California.

When I was fourteen, my aunt Kim brought me out here for the first time. I gotta tell ya, I was pretty darn dazzled by the culture out here. I had only one connection to California, and she fit the mold of Californians to a tee and I adored her. The ocean, the mohawks, the mountains, the Birkenstock, all of it; I was in love. But then I grew up, and decided who I was, and that there was a good life right were I was: the right life. So ten years later when we made a second trip across the country for my brother's wedding, it was clarity for me that I never had any interest in living in California. My life was goood. RRRREALLY goood!

You can imagine my surprise when we got the call that we were being considered for a position in California. Then we moved out here. BUT we knew we would be able to leave in a year or two, and it got our foot in the door so we could do it. Plus the ocean, the mountains, the flowers, the fruit; there are perks.


But this is what I really want to be looking at, from the passenger's side of a moving truck. The wonder is gone. This place has lost it's luster. (I do love the vineyards, but that's it. Nothing else!) I just want to go home. I want to appreciate the turning of the leaves, drifts of snow, Midwestern wildlife. I want to get in my car and drive for a few hours and be immediately welcomed by people that love us and know us. I want to put roots down and stay put. To know my mailman and the local butcher. To connect with the farmers at the farmers markets and call them by name. To go through the same line in the checkout long enough to learn the cashier well enough to bring her Christmas cookies when we do our deliveries. I want to go to a church more than an hour a week and work hard to establish relationships with people there so that we can function in the body of Christ as we were intended to.

All of these things I could do here, really I could. I just haven't because I thought we were leaving all this time. We really might be leaving and I have high hopes for our future. So for now we're just waiting. Honestly, it's the hardest part.

writing

I used to write in the evenings after the kids went to bed. Eventually I started writing in progression to make books, but before that, I just sat down and started writing. Today I was cleaning out some files in our computer and opened a file that said "writing". When I started reading it blasted me back to my life in Missouri when Dale was going to school and I was working. It was a seriously loco life, but we were truly happy. Here's a glimpse.

There were days when nothing else mattered. That tiny twinkle of laughter became a clanging cymbal ringing through the house everyday, all day long. It evoked such unspeakable joy in my soul that I can't even begin to describe it. I would be in the next room giggling to myself; heaven forbid my little ones see me laughing about them saying "fart head" or "butt crack"... anything on the naughty list was funny. Then they would scream with laughter. That usually snapped me out of Lala Land nostalgia and back into mommy mode. How could I raise little ladies and gentlemen if I let them say those filthy words and scream at the lunch table?

And now here I sit in the quiet. This coveted quiet that someday will haunt me. The other night Dale was out alone on a call. He had to be close so he stayed in a hotel. He said it was such an overwhelming feeling to be in a room where it was empty and quiet and there was no noise, all quiet. Before he knew it, it was 12:30, long past time to get up. What is it about quiet that we crave so deeply when we have none? Then once the noise is gone, the quiet screams in our ears.

xoxo

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Oh what a beautiful MOOOORRR-NINNNNGGGG, Oh what a beautiful day...

I heart all holidays. I mean, Thanksgiving? Come on. A day to be--- that's right, thankful! Say thank you. Feel gratitude. Celebrate everything you have ever appreciated. Reflect on the goodness of the Giver of every good gift. And eat. Eat as if it's the physical manifestation of your gratuity. Seriously, how can you not love that?
We had a really great day. I didn't spoil the oven with burnt pie filling, the turkey cooked all the way through, had plenty of time to rest, and really wowed Dale. I can't lie, the green rice was a total loss, and the stuffing wasn't my fave. And the rolls were not the tender delicious goodness I would have preferred, but over all I think the food was spot on, which means two days of labor for the grand finale was not in vain.

There were a few times that I let myself ponder the feasting in Emporia and Richmond, but not for long. We have a ready-made party full of sincerely gratuitous eaters which makes it all worth it. Happy Thanksgiving, sweet friends and neighbors. I hope you all had the best, best, best ever!!!

HEY!! I have a new nephew too! WOOHOO! Welcome to the world, Dylan. May the fullness of your life be the blessed sweet gift from God that we all believe it is going to be. I can't wait to snuggle you! Congratulations, Dave and Erin. We are SOOOO happy for you!