Leila's Moment in the Sun

The kids and I have watched this video clip so many times and screamed with laughter that I cannot bear to keep it to myself any longer.

Just in case you ever wondered

This is what the girls look like in their new matching outfits complete with homespun hats, mittens, and slippers from Nana. Max really wants to eat those big pompoms, but so far we have kept them intact.
And this is what Leila looks like in our new baby sling. After putting her into it, I'm not sure I'll be able to find a tiny baby in the huge thing. We may have to grow into this one. And besides, what will I carry Leila around in if we put the baby in it? Sheesh! It's not like she's an adult capable of getting around on her own!
And this is what I looked like last Thursday on our way out to Angela's for Mexican food. Dale bought me this hat that I adore for Christmas at Anthropologie, my all time favorite place to shop. I could spend all afternoon just looking and touching. There's been some debate about this jacket that I didn't get at Anthropologie but at Goodwill. I thought it was a perfect solution to not quite fitting into the sweater that I wear everyday with every outfit. It's just not wide enough to go around the swelling on my midsection; just narrow enough that it's starting to look funny with the front sides hanging under my arms. I bought another sweater to replace that one, large enough to wrap all the way around me, but it's just too big and it looks ridiculous. And it might be ugly. I'm not sure so I don't wear it out of the house. The jean jacket was my compromise. It doesn't interfere with the protrusionary area, and it is enough to keep me warm in the wind. And I think it's really cute; that is where Dale and I part ways. We agree that the other sweater ages me substancially, but he cannot accept the jacket; he thinks it's goofy. Kennedy whole-heartedly approves, no matter what Daddy says, and my friends, her opinion is becoming more and more valued in this household. This is no joke, the other day, Dale came in and asked my opinion on a sport coat or a windbreaker with his tie and dress pants. I, of course, said the sport coat went perfectly with the whole outfit down to the shoes. Kennedy disagreed. Guess which one he went with. Windbreaker. I can't protest though, I'm losing touch and I need her insight even if she is ten. The kid's got style.
Just look at her. And she's not the only one.

Unwavering confidence in the face of his opponents and under the weight of all that coolness. But wait...Let's not forget the Alpine Diva in all her glory, complete with a tierra and a pink fuzzy throne. And yes...Tell me this kid doesn't scream ROCK STAR!!!Last but not least, the little princess in her new favorite dress with candy stickiness all over her face. What can I say? They must get it from me.

Oh the joy

I herded the kids out the door at 8:30 thinking we'd have time to get to Bible study and still a few minutes to sit down at the piano before the room was full of ladies but I was wrong. We pulled into the church parking lot at 8:57. If Bible study started at 9 I was in trouble! What I didn't know is that they don't do anything opening anything, the worship leader just comes in, sits down, and turns on the sound. I wouldn't know that because thus far I've never been in attendance for the first few minutes of the meeting. But I was about to find out.

We all hustled to the front doors of the building and to our surprise, they were locked! I lead the pack to the office entrance where they told me to make myself at home and practice all I needed to before people started to arrive. We were half an hour early! WOOHOO!

This has happened a couple of times now in my career as a mother. I find myself sitting in a parking lot after driving my children out of bed too early and rushing them into the car. It's a nice surprise but I still would rather just be a little early than to show up all frazzled from being late only to hurry up and wait.

What I am grateful for is the chance to sit at the piano and sing for a little while before anyone came in. The kids sat on the front row in shifts and sang with me. It was so precious I had to hold back a few tears. Leila did ballet right next to the piano while I played. What a sight.

The actual event went off without a hitch, I felt such a huge emotional wave as I lead these precious ones in worship to our God who they all love so much. Again I had to fight back tears as I sang. Everyone knows you can't cry and sing and I wasn't sure they'd know all the songs, so I had to keep it together. But it was a sweet, sweet priveledge for which I am again very thankful.

I don't know if I'll have the chance to lead again, but I do know that I can sit down at that piano whenever I want to, and that is something valuable to me.

At the Piano Again

In my former life, one of my favorite things to do on Saturday night was sit at the piano and play and sing to my hearts' content. After we set the house up for church, Dale would usually polish up on his message and my sister would be cutting and drawing and gluing and organizing for Kids on the Rock, so we would all be together on the main floor with our minds geared for Sunday's activities. Nearing midnight, Sarah had usually joined me at the piano and Dale would be sitting on the couch singing along with his eyes closed. I miss those nights.

Seven months ago I left my piano *and my heart* in Nebraska where we whittled down our possessions to the bare minimum, kind of, and moved across the country. Our lives are busy, but not so busy I wouldn't still sit down at the piano a few times a week if we had brought it. Someone would've had to sleep on it though because our space is pretty limited.

So last week when the opportunity to lead worship for our ladies' Bible study presented itself, my heart skipped a beat. Not so much for the leading, but the sitting and banging away at the piano in the company of others who just want to be in the presence of Jesus. Because I haven't played for so long I was a little apprehensive about going at it without a trial run. The pastor's wife said there would be a place for me to run through the set during Wednesday night classes, but it turned out there was a class meeting in that room so I found myself sitting under the television screens in the coffee shop of the church trying not to drown out the sound of the congregational worship in case people were listening. I can't tell you the sweet release of joy it brings me just to sit and play.

To tell you the truth, while I was choosing songs for the Bible study, I did have a few nervous moments, which is weird because I really don't get nervous about leading worship. But after last night, going over the list and turning my heart to worship I am grateful for the opportunity and excited. I am generally leery about volunteering for anything in a church setting while I'm still invisible. This is due to the critic in me that is sure I'll regret my words as soon as they escape my lips. When I considered telling the pastor's wife that I would be willing to fill in, I swept the thought away thinking that in a church that size there had to be a long list of capable people. After some prodding, I went ahead and spoke to her. Unbeknownst to me, the main worship leader had just submitted a leave of absence and the Bible study leader was having surgery on her hand two weeks from that time. There wasn't a back up. God had clearly moved me into position for the job, which is so strange because it didn't feel any different than the last time I thought about volunteering in a church. I guess I was obedient this time.

There's nothing better than being at the piano again. It never gets old and so I will bang away and belt out the tunes for my 25-minute window and be thankful that God answers prayer; I was toiling over this very thing just a few months ago. He is so good. He never misses the details.

E.R.

During the Superbowl the kids discovered out of the sheer blue an exciting new game to play called Emergency Room. You would not believe the details that go into the care of these poor souls that find themselves in the Sutton ER.
Lolly had an IV, a bandaged arm, a thermometer taped to her skin, and a wrapped finger!
This little guy started out in pretty good shape but his condition worsened every time I was called on to observe his treatment.
And this poor thing had to be strapped to a board for the duration of his treatment. His doctor demonstrated how he could shake the board upside-down and sideways and he wouldn't go anywhere. That's a good doctor! I feel bad for his recovery though and the removal of all that Scotch tape... Notice the lock. He got beat up so bad that the aggressor threw a lock at him and it stuck in his chest, knocking his heart completely out! The heart is gone from his body and only the lock remains. The eye, the leg... just a shame. It's a tragedy the crazies roaming around out there! Thank goodness there are kind souls that are ready and able to meet the needs of those so entrenched in physical affliction. And they are so meek, we don't have a picture of a single one of them. Good thing they make the big bucks.

Maxter, our furry little gentleman

Maybe you remember when Max was just a little tyke, a runt of sorts, a sweet, innocent bundle of snuggles and love. A little insecure. A little misunderstood. A little lost in this big new world.

Things have changed. Our boy is quickly becoming a full-grown male boxer; no reservations, no hesitations, no careful calculation as to whether he'll fit into the space he's climbing to fill on the couch. The dog is something else. And we adore him.
I have had so much fun training this little man into a responsible adult. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy task to harness sixty pounds of energy long enough to teach submission, but he's smart. And Scooter speaks my language and somehow translates to Max when I can't get him to understand so that helps. But for the most part, he's getting it and learning the ways of life in the Sutton home.

Sometimes I worry that he's too skinny and that Kibbles and Bits aren't good enough to achieve the stature of his breed, but then we see neglected dogs on TV and I feel much better about his two feedings a day. He's quite a lovey pup, gives hugs, nuzzles, and when he's ready to settle down for the evening, he'll wrap one leg around whoever is sitting next to him. It's pretty sweet. Sometimes I want to toss him into the wild with the mountain lions, but mostly I love him and am glad he came into our lives.

HAPPY late VALENTINES DAY!!!

Leila must've been up at five o'clock in anticipation of the super-duper Valentines Day festivities. I could hear her chattering away for a long time before Dale's alarm went off at seven. With half a stack of care packages from family waiting to be opened, a cabinet full of doilies and constuction paper waiting to be created into hearts and springs, and a drawer full of candy to decorate cookies with, the energy was high by eight o'clock. Kennedy made red heart-shaped pancakes while while I worked with the little one on their schoolwork. I gave the older ones the option to do part of their work today and part of it tomorrow since technically, we have a four day weekend. In our program we have the flexibility of taking the scheduled days off or working through them, which I love. SO when the mailman rang the doorbell, you can imagine the squeals and stampede that greeted her. It was rivetting.
The only shadows in our sunshine are that we can't take homemade cookies to Uncle Bobby and we won't be able to surprise April at work with our traditional surprise drop-off , and we can't trek out to Wentworth to deliver cookies and drink hot chocolate in the QM with Mawmaw and Pawpaw, our Missouri Valentine tradition. And we can't invite all our preschool and homeschool friends over for a wild party at our house in Nebraska like we did last year... in the midst of a snowstorm. And we won't be able to go take cookies to ECS for Nana and her class, or visit Aunt Sarah at the bank with a special delivery. Life goes on. It just has to. Our other option is to venture out into our sunny neighborhood in our flipflops and spread holiday cheer to our new friends and neighbors here. Happy Heart Day to all, and to all a sugar-high good-night! Thank you to all of you that have mailed us boxes of treasures! In the spirit of the holiday of love, may you and yours find yourselves totally and completely in love with Jesus and life and each other! a day late...

Camping. In California. In February. In a yurt.

Dale has a big event at work this week so his schedule got moved around which meant he was home two days last week, worked the weekend, and then was off again Monday and Tuesday, which we all love because when he's here we party. He had this great idea. *Let's take the kids seperately for the day and then we'll surprise them and meet up somewhere and stay the night!*I used to be really spontaneous and fun and adventurous and fun and nice and fun. Now my initial response is always: a. what will it cost? b. how much work will I have to do to get there? c. how long will it take me to clean up after the fun's done? This must be natural for a mother of five, I would assume. I mean, I don't have documentation or anything, but I don't think it's impractical for me to consider the repercussions of anything that disrupts our regular routine. However... I learned early on in my relationship with Dale that he has a gift, and that is, he brings the silver lining into our lives. He spoils us. Being that we have been married now almost twelve years, I've learned to say yes first and then voice any reservations I have about his idea later after I've considered whether these reservations are worth voicing. It took me eleven and a half years to learn this. In those eleven and a half years, I have always said no first, disappointed everyone, changed my mind after I realized my reservations were not as important as whatever we were going to do, and then after the dream was crushed, we'd go ahead with the plan. You'd think I'd have gotten it a long time ago.

I don't know how he does it, but Dale always knows the best kept secrets of wherever we are. He can tell you what gas station has the best donuts, where the best hole-in-the-wall eating establishments are, and now, less than a year in California and he found the absolute best camp site of all time. Lake Cachuma, home sweet home.
The girls and I pulled up to the edge of this little peninsula where he sat on a picnic table in the shade while the boys ran back and forth to the lake throwing rocks into the water, watching the waterfall from our spout trickle down a crevice in the cliff, and throwing fishing worms at each other. I almost cried. There were mountains all around us. Most of the trees still had leaves, there was green grass everywhere. And best of all, we were the only yurt dwellers in the entire place. *there are only three yurts, but still...*

I have never been much of a camper, except where there was a clean and stable restroom within a few feet of my cabin. And a shower. And air conditioning. And cute boys, pre-college of course. I don't know what poison oak looks like. I don't know what to do about wild animals except to run at the site of them- which I just learned you DO NOT DO if you see a mountain lion. Dale asked me to bring something to grill and all I could think of was if I bring chicken, I'll have to bring a salad and forks and plates... we'll just go out.
This was a prime camping experience, my friends, and I am seriously having to fight myself off of thoughts of buying a piece of land on a lake, building a yurt, and planning monthly getaways with the crew. I'm much more experienced now. *next time I'll know to bring sheets. And hot dogs.*

It was so therapeutic just being outside in seventy-three degrees with the sun shining and the kids running and playing. I felt new after just a couple of hours in the fresh air and sunshine. It did get cold as soon as the sun went down. We had to bundle up to roast our hot dogs- the hot dogs we bought in the market of Santa Ynez. The hot dogs that ended up costing us four times the usual Wal-Mart price! Then we roasted marshmellows and made s'mores. It wasn't until after all the roasting was done that we heard something scratching in the trees just a couple of yards from our fire pit.
I reassured the kids that it was just a bird or squirrels while Dale went for the flashlight. Unfortunately for all of us, it wasn't a squirrel, it was huge, and looked white shimmying up the side of the tree. We scrambled to get the food put away and pile into the yurt to escape dangers of the wild. After everyone was safely inside, Dale cracked the door and shined his light outside only to find a huge raccoon scavenging the crumbs from our dinner right next to our yurt. We all took turns peaking out the door and running away squealing. He must've been thirty pounds and accustomed to people because Dale tried to scare him away and the it didn't phase the rascal.
By seven o'clock we were all up and getting dressed because it was freezing. They gave us a space heater when we checked it, but we were both nervous about leaving it on all night in the mostly wood dwelling, next to our wooden bunk beds and with all the pillows and blankets that get dropped in the night. I don't know why we were worried though, because Dale and I both woke up about every five minutes to try to find a more comfortable or warm position on our bunk. We would've caught the smoke before the fire if there was any danger.

Dale started packing the car as soon as his shoes were tied, despite our efforts to take it slow. It was just too cold and with no sleep our patience was burning up pretty fast. When we got home we both said we felt like we had been on vacation, even though we were back within twenty-four hours of leaving the house. It was just one more of God's simple blessings to get us through just a little bit longer.

SUP-ER BOWL, da da da DUN da DUN!

I have never been a fan of televised sports with the exception of the World's Strongest Man competition which is a simple display of brute strength in primitive surivival skill events, events like chopping logs, and carrying concrete blocks from there to there and throwing things over walls. Heavy things. This year I have come to enjoy Ninja Warrior. I don't know why I love these shows, but they are fascinating to me. I could watch them for hours. This year, however, I came to love and appreciate a sport that I had never really understood, even thought I love football season and going to football games. But my affinity was more for wearing sweatshirts and turtlenecks, eating popcorn and drinking hot chocolate, and snuggling under a blanket for a couple of hours amidst the fanatical cheering and cursing. My son becoming the greatest football hero on the field turned my attention to the skill and dynamics of the game. Graciously my sister explained downs and the chain gang to me which further enabled my understanding. (Even though I've run chains before, in my football trainer/water girl days, I never knew what the objective was and I was too proud to ask. Thank you, my Sista.)

So when Super Bowl Sunday rolled around, I announced that we would be having a Super Bowl Party at our house and the kids went straight to work.The girls had a tea party at the kitchen table, only none of them really like tea so Kennedy made coffee, which they all drink fully stocked with creamer and sweet n low. Tre started off feeling quite sure that he had a fever despite my denials. He got his blanket and Nintendo DS and camped out on the couch so he wouldn't have to miss out on all the festivities. After I took his temperature for reals and showed him that the numbers were well under 100, he perked right up. This fresh-out-0f-the-oven pan of Monster Cookies helped too.

We got online to see what time it started, next we called Mawmaw to ask who we should cheer for, and then the kids cut out footballs and made paper chains and pictures to decorate the living room. Their attention lasted through the first half, but it wained shortly thereafter.
By the end of the game, I was alone in the living room and the kids were snapping pictures of their new favorite past time back in the bedrooms, which I will chronicle in the next couple of days.
I loved the game. I was glued to the TV for every play. I don't know either team with any sort of personal affection, but it was exciting to watch even by myself. What is intriguing to me is the energy of the fans in the stands, it comes right through the airwaves. So don't cry for me next year when you're pulling hot wings and nachos out of the oven for your living room full of company. We're just fine. **Unless you happen to be in town, then you're invited to join us for our bash. I'll need to tweak the menu a little so just give me the heads up before church! xoxo

Sweet dreams are made of these

As soon as dinner was cleaned up, we all crowded around the dining room table where the supplies were piled and the excitement was rumbling.
The boys chose a foam fort and a pine derby car. Micah took charge of the fort right away, and Tre did more on the car.
The girls chose the foam castle and these little felt and pipe cleaner fairies. I love to do stuff like this because it occupies a window of time that is enough to be enjoyable, but not so wide that it can't be completed. I tend to be a little obsessive and wanted the wraps all the same width, the legs and arms the same length, the hair to be even... But once Leila ripped the head off and the dress off of my first one, I decided not to spend too many hours fixing imperfections.
We had so much fun. I wish we could do this every night; it really builds a sense of togetherness. I find myself pushing off the kids requests for me to play way too often in exchange for some busyness in the house or some kind of waste of time. I keep thinking they'll grow up and I'll wish the time back, but it's so hard to force myself to play! I think my hostility would desist if I would just play more and not fret over these petty things. It really comes down to a time management *not my strong suit*.

Regardless, I'm sure we'll do this again soon. The next day we attempted another adventure for the first time, one I'm afraid we'll all come to regret. It's a little number called Baskin-Robbins, a.k.a. 31 Flavors. I've dodged requests for trips to Baskin-Robbins many times because I am cheap and I'd rather pay the $5.00 for a tub of ice cream that will feed all of us than to spend four times that and not finish what we get. Honestly, I was wrong, and I'm not afraid to admit it. I'll embrace my mistakenness. There is something magical about seventy-three degrees that lures people into ice cream shops. We stood in a crowd of people waiting to be helped for several minutes and didn't even get impatient about the disorder. The kids got ice cream cones, which is what kids should get. Dale and I agreed to share and I let him choose because the only thing I don't like about food is deciding what to eat. Let me tell you, if anyone is going to make a decision like this for you, you should spend the money on long distance to call him. He's a master. Two words.

BANANA ROYALE

A scoop of chocolate chip cookie dough, a scoop of Snicker bar, a cut up banana, and about three cups of carmel syrup. Yummy.

Unfortunately for all of us, we didn't spend half of what I anticipated spending. And it's been seventy-three degrees for several days in a row. And tomorrow is a special day. I can't make any promises here, but I'm betting we'll make a little trip over to our new favorite place. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for it anyway!

Seventy-Three

The sun was shining, a light breeze was blowing, and the weather outside was simply perfect. I was gently reminded of why we fell in love with this city upon arrival. While my friends and family are being buried under blankets of snow, we were out and about and full of good cheer today and it was quite rejuvinating.

In a desperate attempt to get out of the house, I suggested we make a trip to Santa Maria to Target where Snackwell's are only $2.54 a box. They are a staple around here and at $3.99 regular grocery store price, it's well worth a trip to stock up. Dale rebutted with the cost of gas not balancing the savings. My reply was an earnest plea to "PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE!" It was beautiful and we should go to the park. And wouldn't it be fun to feed the ducks? And besides, we could try that new place for lunch.

We ended up eating really tasty BBQ and then venturing out to the Big Boys Toys across the street. It happened to be next to a Michael's, which I have come to adore since it's arrival here after Christmas. Dale, who loves hobby shops, suggested we each by a project and do them together tonight. I love crafts and only dream of what I'm going to work on next, never really feeding the need- at least not nearly often enough. So, the girls and I picked a project and the boys picked a project and they are setting up at the table right now. What joy, what bliss! The Suttons are on a craft mission tonight.

I will post pictures tomorrow if we make some good progress tonight.

Something to be thankful for

At Bible study on Friday, I was overwhelmed with the number of requests in our little group for sickness in their households. There are so many different weird things going around and somehow we have dodged all of it. Because of our tight living quarters, when one person gets sick, usually it knocks us all out; sometimes it goes around a second time. I had to express my gratitude for God's generosity toward us in shielding us thus far from every strain of cough and flu that is, I'm sure, globbed onto the carts at WalMart and Albertsons, the carts I occassionally catch Leila licking. My health has been so good with this pregnancy and Dale is really working hard to lead us in this new healthy lifestyle; I'm just thankful for the return.

I have been reading little segments of this blog someone told me about called Nitty.Gritty. The author is the mother of five, four here and one in heaven, has one little one with some kind of chronic sickness, I can't quite figure out what it is yet. She recently announced the expectation of another baby in the fall. What a load. I find myself bobbing for air sometimes and then I read that someone else's life is much more worthy of my prayers for survival. I get the sense that I can walk on the water I was just bobbing to stay on top of. What's amazing to me are the circumstances that people go through and how they can respond so powerfully in acceptance and resilience to the potential crushing that accompanies those circumstances. What a wonder. And what an inspiration.

With that said, I think I'll take a nap with Leila and be grateful that I can.

Warp Zone

My friend S most enjoys the posts with pictures so for her recent homecoming, I thought I'd choose some random photos of my kids for your viewing enjoyment. This is the top half of the roller skates on my myspace profile. Dale is adamently opposed to having pictures of any of us on that site, which I scoffed at until four zillion photo files were stolen off of private myspace accounts recently. Now I'm just thankful that he has that kind of foresight and I have learned to just adhere to what he adamently opposes. While I was clicking through file after file I found myself lost in a time warp. Remember in Super Mario Brothers when you could go through warp zones and it would skip you into another time and place? That's what it felt like.
It felt like they were so grown up back then and now I'm teary at the sight of their little toothless grins and fuzzy baby haircuts. I've heard parents say a million times, "Where does the time go?" and now I'm in the boat... it seems like it was just months ago when we had Leila. Now she's driving and helping Kennedy plan her wedding. Look at that baby face!!! And those tennis shoes! What an angel. And Sis in her hot pink glasses and coordinating outfit. Gotta love it!!! Man I miss that house. *sniff*
While Leila isn't quite driving, she is mastering major life skills, which makes me think she'll be driving tomorrow. And she will. *snort/sniff*
It's just one more benefit from homeschooling. When you are with your kids all the time, some days feel like an eternity. I can't imagine the weeks zipping by and flipping through one grade after the next. I remember when Kennedy was a toddler hearing someone say that once the kids were in school, there was no way to slow the clock; that they were graduating high school in no time.

It's just strange to think that there really is no slowing it down, the hands of time march on. *boohoo*
These baby pictures of Leila fanned my maternal fire so much. (you'd think daily life on the ranch would efficiently accomplish that with this many fans!) I used to get so strung out over the baby stage; (it's hard not to when you have them close together with no grown-up Kennedy to be a buffer) the baby food, the crawling, the chasing, the eating everything in sight. I don't remember feeling that way with Leila at all, she was such a little gift of sweet marshmellow goodness. I attributed it to my age and me being more laid back, but I think more appropriately, the blessings of God when given perspective, are designed to be just that. Sweet billowy marshmellow goodness. Except when you are in the throes of affliction. And frankly, that part just isn't much fun. But the abundance of our Fathers lavish rich love is... sometimes more than I can bear.