Anger Management

It's been over a week since I have turned over a new leaf with the kids and I am feeling really hopeful. Last night, however, Max came in from a romp outside chalked full of running, barking, and eating dirt in the yard after which he promply dribbled mud and slobber all over my blanket. Without hesitation I whacked him in the head. This troubled Dale, who: a. adores this dog more than any other worldly possession and b. keeps me in check with my mindless acts of cruelty to pets. I didn't even think about it, I just smacked him. Here's the difference though, I felt remorse about it.

We've had this puppy for a while now and have been through every stage with him because we got him so little. He has driven me to the very brink of going out of my mind with rage due to his puppyesque antics. Because he is huge now, I don't worry too much about hurting him. I used to give him a whack everytime we stepped out of line without a thought. It's effective, but not always necessary.

Here's the conclusion, my friend summed it up best when she said of her own pet, "Every ounce of dying to the flesh that I do on a daily basis is turned on that dog at the end of the day." This is a perfect description of the last few years of Scooter's life, and more recently the entirety of Max's adolescence. At the core of repentence I am sure that unkindness toward animals is the last trophy of my flesh, and if I cannot master this one menial thing, there resides in me a foothold for the enemy and an open door for anger to continue to reside.

This is my confession and I'm truly trying to change, the poor muts. Something about having children changes your perspective of animals, unless you and an over-the-top animal lover. I have one friend that has almost gone to the extreme in confessing that sometimes she likes her dogs better than her kids, tongue-in-cheek I'm sure. I was appalled, but I am not an over-the-top animal lover.

It's a grueling process to be stripped of your pride and the secret sins that you clutch, but it's so freeing. This is the freedom Christ promises us in His salvation; this is truly abundant life. No regrets.

This Girl

I call her everyday. If it's three o'clock in the afternoon, it's because Leila has just gotten up from her nap and asked to call her. She gets off work about that time and we just need to hear her voice, even if no one really has much to say, and usually Leila doen't have much to say at that time. If it's seven o'clock in the evening, I have just finished cleaning up dinner and have something pressing to share. If it's anytime on a Saturday, mostly we just need to feel closer to home and she can always make us feel better.

And she cracks me up. This is the oldest trick in the book, the first time must've been in high school when she pasted a corner of a brownie over her front tooth and then kept eating- this makes me laugh out loud just thinking about it-announcing to the room of people, "This brownie is so good!" Everyone looked to see what she was eating and started to laugh.

"What?" she said in total bewilderment, "It is really good!"

Someone unsuspecting soul said, "Sarah, you have some stuck on your tooth."

"Oh, I do? How embarassing!" she said, which made me double over with laughter. Being the creative soul I am, I stole the joke and continued it through the next decade in my own flavor, but I will never take the credit because, frankly, she's the master and deserves every ounce of it.

Just for the record, she's eating my grandma's famous frozen salad that is really so good you could eat it and end up like this. It transports you somehow.

And we both think we are the funniest people in the world when we're together. Clearly we are. Have you ever heard of the Lucy Sisters? We're pretty much famous for writing songs that enlighten people via our personal experiences and singing them onto a recorded message machine on the Nobody's Listening Podcast. We made the show more than once.

And we are pretty sure we are the most inventive duo on the planet. We drove to my brother's house together a couple of years ago and spent the whole time coriographing a work-out video for commuters, one that you can do in the car. Aside from being a cardiovascular experience different from any other, it proved to be wildly entertaining for both of us and we would certainly market it as such- wildly entertaining to spice up that monotonous commute.

Sometimes I call her and say, "Hey can you stop by Thirty-One Flavors on your way over?" To which she replies, "Um, we don't have Thirty-One Flavors and I'm not really coming over today." Honesty. It's what I love about this girl.

Sundays make me homesick, but I'll call her in a little while and she'll make me feel better.

AdSense

I was shocked to open my blog and see an ad for mail-order brides in the corner. My sincere apologies for allowing something so dastartdly to be promoted here.

We survived another Saturday, but this one didn't seem nearly as long as the last few have been. For one, we spent Friday separate, the boys in one city, the girls in another. Unfortunately for the girls, I'm thrifty and we spent the day with our friends. The boys went on all kinds of adventures and found an array of wonderful treasures, one being The Dangerous Book for Boys which has thrilled them to no end to keep top secret and out of the eyes of the entire female population of this dwelling. I keep joking about needing to preview it, being the matriarch, but the boys and Dale have assured me that it's not for my eyes.

Kennedy invited a friend over last night. This morning I made canned cinnamon rolls, per Kennedy, and turned on Tom and Jerry. When I called my mom I told her it felt like a real Saturday. You know, the kind of Saturday you used to live for when you were a kid? My life was so grounded and so predictable growing up that things like this are stamped in my brain and when I am reminded if gives me great comfort. After we ran our errands, we crashed on the couch. It didn't take me or Leila very long to conk out, but I was surprised to see all the kids laying around when I woke up. As much as no one is showing it, I think we all have a little bit of a virus that is zapping our energy. Thank goodness the sun is shining and we can spend a good bit of the day outside. I'm sure if we were locked in, we'd start harvesting all the symptoms in bulk.

We're encroching upon Spring Break which means the end of the school year is in sight! I can't believe we've already made it past the halfway mark and now halfway through the third quarter. All of this flags the speedy homecoming of our new addition, which is exciting and a little bit unnerving, if the truth be told. Watching my friend with her new baby and how looking at that kid when she smiles transports her into another realm reminds me of the wonder of new life. It really is amazing.

Pregnancy is the ultimate enforcer of procrastination. The other night I made a chart of all my necessary cleaning, weekly, monthly, and quarterly, thinking it would help me to keep track of the things I need to do and the frequency of their completion. But knowing I have this list looming over me makes it more difficult to accomplish, I'm afraid. Granted, I don't know how often I wash the kids' sheets because they kind of rotate having accidents or catastrophic events like the flu, so it seems like someone's sheets are always in the wash, but I know some of them don't make the cycle because they don't have accidents and they know when their stomach starts rolling to get out of the bed. I don't remember the last time I edged my carpets and it's showing. I did clean out the fridge, but I've yet to clean under any of the appliances in this house. Should I feel bad about that? I don't know... these are the things I think about when I have quiet time. That's why I need a hobby when everything gets quiet, so I don't spend all my down-time plotting out my work routine.

Aside: It's 8:14. Leila just came in and said, "Hiccups". When Tre got the hiccups, I had him do 100 jumping jacks and they were gone when he got to the end. When Jasmine got the hiccups, I told her that she needed to go back to bed, which sent her into a tantrum and when I called her back out of her bedroom and told her to "do it" she couldn't produce a single one, which made her madder until I informed her that she was cured. Sometimes we use a spoonful of sugar. It's not scientific, but it's fun for the kids when they get those blasted things and they seem to believe that it works. I told Leila to do jumping jacks, which is the funniest thing to watch. I love to watch kids of all ages do jumping jacks because they require such coordination. She wouldn't wait around for a hundred, but she did do six push-up, three crunches, four up-downs, and then six more jumping jacks. When I told her to open her mouth and "let me see" she said, "Seep, Mom." She was ready to go back to bed. Call it a gift, but I can cure hiccups. Sometimes.

CHUCK E CHEESE

Saturdays without a football game on the otherside of the state were a relief. Saturdays without a basketball game inside the city limits were fun at first since we could all sleep in, but we miss having a team to root for, and honestly, we miss the excitement. I avoid going to the store on Saturdays because it's just too frightening to drag my parade of children through the busy isles. If the truth be told, these event-free days can be a little long and boring.

Last weekend, Kennedy decided to remedy this pitfall with a great idea. Actually Micah came up with the one that stuck, "Let's make a Chuck E Cheese in our backyard." Kennedy got onboard and they spend the entire morning drawing up plans and coming up with ideas for games.
This was Micah's first idea. His building skills have inspired him to be an architect when he grows up, so he took the most initiative to draw up plans for his games, and he ended up with the most elaborate creations.

Kennedy came up with all the other games and spent most of her time writing invitations and deciding who to invite.

Jasmine mostly played with the dogs, and cheered for all the good ideas, and did what they told her to do.
Unfortunately Tre had to take a nap that day, the first one in years... But when got up he got to participate in all the festivities.
Kennedy invited everyone she could think of within a three block radius, but of the three that were able to come, two were sick and decided to go home without playing any games. The other guy was a great party guest and spent not only the entire party time with us, but several hours before and after. He was SO excited to be apart of our Saturday.
I was glad that there are enough kids under this roof that could fill the yard, play the games, and win the prizes that we didn't miss the other kids in the neighborhood when they couldn't come.

Max and Scooter, who spent the whole time in the kennel together, were just glad when it was over and they could breathe again.

Mothra

Yesterday the kids found this guy firmly planted on the wall outside our back door. The wind was whipping around him and he wasn't going anywhere. Dale said he was "of biblical proportion."
I knew it would be hard to convey the size of him in a picture so I put this dime up on the wall next to it. Yeah... it still doesn't do him justice. I've never seen anything quite like it.
There are other giant bugs here, like these green pokka-dotted beetles that perch on our screens and hiss when we try to knock them off. I don't like anything that hisses. I also saw this other giant beetle the other day that are all black and have long skinny bodies. When they go into defense mode, they stiffen their back legs to look bigger and just stay right there in the middle of the sidewalk to frighten off predators. When he stuck his back half into the air, I laughed, because I was intimidated enough by the looks of him moving, even though they move super slowly.

I didn't step on it or sweep it away because it was a good four inches long and yikes. What if he jumped? Can you imagine if something like this got into your hair? That happened to me once, only it was a junebug. It got into my hair and I went into hysterics. When you have long hair, sweeping it all around only tangles the little devil further in. I kept hearing it clicking-- oo that gives me the willies just thinking about it. I had to stop screaming and twitching so that one of my brave compadres could untangle it and rid me of it. I have always been lucky enough to have friends that do not fear bugs or mice or anything of the sort. Once I had to kill a mouse and after working the entire night in a state of shock following the murder, my loyal friend and co-worker said, "If you come across anything you need killed, just call me." I count it a blessing.

Guess who got a new sweater!

Scooter got a sweat-er, Scooter got a sweat-er! This dog hates clothes, but he looks so cute in them that Kennedy cannot bear to not put them on him. I attempted to take this photograph twelve or fifteen times, but he just wouldn't look at the camera. It was a fluke that he looked my way as the flash lit this time. Notice the claws on this beast. Poor thing; I don't know if it's the breed or if it's that when we run him, he runs after the treats and then lays in the grass the rest of the time we're at the park, but he cannot keep his nails trimmed. I have to hog tie him about every month and trim them down. They get so long they catch on the carpet! I'd ask the vet about it, but that would mean he'd have to actually GO to the vet and, frankly, I just don't feel like it. So I just hog tie him and clip them when they start catching.
Leila would take him to the vet it she could. She'd also take him to the doggy salon, the doggy resort, and buy him a guesthouse to put in the backyard so he could get away from Max because she loves him. She loves him so much that she will drag him by the ears up onto her lap if he isn't getting up fast enough. She loves Max too, but not unconditionally. Whenever she smells something stinky she says, "Eeewww Max!" But she does share her milk with him if I'm not looking, and her snacks, and all of her meals. He's usually right at my feet waiting for her benevolence to kick in toward the end of each meal. Lucky for me they love her too.

But no one loves these dogs like Kennedy. Today when Max tore off the grill cover, the third replacement, the second and third I purchased within a week of each other, I told Kennedy I was going to put him down and she pulled him up on that couch with her and said, "Poor Max. She hates you, but love you." To which I retorted, "I only sometimes hate him." Poor kid.

I thought you might like to see all the kids in action if only for a second. This greeting is a little late, but no less sincere. Happy Valentine's Day from the Suttons. We love you.

Anger

A couple of weeks ago I enrolled the kids in AWANAs so that they would have a midweek activity that all of them can be involved in and make friends. I expected to be able to sit in the lobby and read a book while they went to their classes, but the pastor leads a regular service during that time, so instead I decided to sit in.


The worship is more intimate in this setting. One thing is the leader; he's an average singer, but a powerful worshipper. His heart is so pure in the position that it promotes a true attitude of worship in the body, thus producing a corporate focus completely separate from his ability or personality. This is a rare treasure. Our pastor teaches expositionally Sunday mornings as well as Wednesday nights, which I always appreciate. You know what to expect and he is thorough with the text, which is also rare.


I don't know what it was about last week that struck me so deeply, but I was especially moved during worship to a place of deep humility and vulnerability. In that attitude I decided that I would make sort of a confession after the service to the pastor's wife and ask her to pray for me that God would deliver me from sinning in my anger, this plague that has compounded week by week and becoming a sort of ticking bomb, exploding with no predictable trigger. It was settled in my heart and as I dodged the greeting time, I felt hopeful for my meager estate. God had seen my desperation to be free and would make a way for my deliverance.


As our pastor began his message, the first point he made I'll never forget. He said, "From what we've learned in this study of Ecclesiastes, we know that the strength of wisdom is not in what you know, it's in applying what you know to how you live." BAM! Point taken.


The text of the message was Ecclesiastes 10:4 If the ruler's temper rises against you, do not abandon your position, because composure allays great offenses. I sat there in disbelief for a few minutes as the theme turned from the strength of wisdom to dealing with anger in wisdom. How could it be that here I am, more ready to really receive the message than I have ever been since we arrived in out here, and here is the message, perfectly tailored to meet my need.


If a ruler, or person of position over you comes at you in anger, don't flee, don't puff up against him, but stand your ground, maintain your composure. Another versoin says consiliation pacifies great offenses. Wikipedia says, "Most successful conciliators are highly skilled negotiators." The definition in Websters dictionary says "pacify, to gain friendship." This is a much different approach to someone laying into you than what comes naturally, to bark back and defend yourself.


He continued with Ephesians 4 starting in verse 20 about laying aside the old man and putting on the new man. These words struck me: Ephesians 4:26-27 Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. And Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.

It was startling. I know these verses in Ephesians, I've read them countless times, but it was the simple message and such a practical application to my current situation that it really struck me. I needed to find a remedy and here is was in black and white. Asking the pastor's wife to pray for me sounded good, but my confession needed to be to my children, the object of my offense. Beyond that I needed a step-program to guide me out of this pattern, and there it was echoing over the PA system.

Ephesians 4:23 be renewed in the spirit of your mind, the vital step in the grand scheme of all of this. If I do not daily renew my mind, what is there to replace the old man and all of his trophies? Only the Word of God can renew my mind and if I drown the flesh in it day by day, I will reap a harvest on new birth in my life.

The challenge came at the end to apply these principles to one area of your life everyday for 28 days, thus permanently modifying the habitual behavior, whether it be lying, stealing, anger, etc. I'm taking the challenge and also passing it on. God has given us everything we need for life and godliness so there's no reason to live in defeat. I'll post at the end of my 28 days and let you know when the mountain has crumbled.

Guess Who got a hair cut!

The weight is gone, a new kid is born! These pictures are so funny, I just can't get over how much these boys don't look like themselves.

Micah got a trim just because I know he'll need one in three days and if you're going to sit in the salon for one, you might as well knock them all out at once.
Leila's favorite thing to say lately is, "Ma' tummy's kickin'." It's so precious! Kennedy thought it would be fun to give her a big tummy and let her *have a baby*. Elmo is her husband. You can see she's about ready to deliver by the expression on her face.
Last week I bought steaks and we grilled for the first time in probably a month. I made a big fresh salad, baked potatoes, corn, and asparagus. The weather was so typically spring that I wished I would've made a strawberry shortcake to top it all off. Since the wind wasn't blowing the kids asked if we could have a fire and roast marshmellows in the fire pit, which I thought was a great idea.
As the sun went down, it got pretty chilly and the joiners fell off one by one, but Jas stayed until the fire was just barely burning. She wanted to take a picture of it, but without the flash all you can see is orange spots in the black pit. This was the result of the flash. It doesn't quite lend the same effect of being around the smoldering embers in the cool night air in February.

Leila's Moment in the Sun

The kids and I have watched this video clip so many times and screamed with laughter that I cannot bear to keep it to myself any longer.

Just in case you ever wondered

This is what the girls look like in their new matching outfits complete with homespun hats, mittens, and slippers from Nana. Max really wants to eat those big pompoms, but so far we have kept them intact.
And this is what Leila looks like in our new baby sling. After putting her into it, I'm not sure I'll be able to find a tiny baby in the huge thing. We may have to grow into this one. And besides, what will I carry Leila around in if we put the baby in it? Sheesh! It's not like she's an adult capable of getting around on her own!
And this is what I looked like last Thursday on our way out to Angela's for Mexican food. Dale bought me this hat that I adore for Christmas at Anthropologie, my all time favorite place to shop. I could spend all afternoon just looking and touching. There's been some debate about this jacket that I didn't get at Anthropologie but at Goodwill. I thought it was a perfect solution to not quite fitting into the sweater that I wear everyday with every outfit. It's just not wide enough to go around the swelling on my midsection; just narrow enough that it's starting to look funny with the front sides hanging under my arms. I bought another sweater to replace that one, large enough to wrap all the way around me, but it's just too big and it looks ridiculous. And it might be ugly. I'm not sure so I don't wear it out of the house. The jean jacket was my compromise. It doesn't interfere with the protrusionary area, and it is enough to keep me warm in the wind. And I think it's really cute; that is where Dale and I part ways. We agree that the other sweater ages me substancially, but he cannot accept the jacket; he thinks it's goofy. Kennedy whole-heartedly approves, no matter what Daddy says, and my friends, her opinion is becoming more and more valued in this household. This is no joke, the other day, Dale came in and asked my opinion on a sport coat or a windbreaker with his tie and dress pants. I, of course, said the sport coat went perfectly with the whole outfit down to the shoes. Kennedy disagreed. Guess which one he went with. Windbreaker. I can't protest though, I'm losing touch and I need her insight even if she is ten. The kid's got style.
Just look at her. And she's not the only one.

Unwavering confidence in the face of his opponents and under the weight of all that coolness. But wait...Let's not forget the Alpine Diva in all her glory, complete with a tierra and a pink fuzzy throne. And yes...Tell me this kid doesn't scream ROCK STAR!!!Last but not least, the little princess in her new favorite dress with candy stickiness all over her face. What can I say? They must get it from me.