Thankful

God has answered our prayers! After much investigation and a small fortune in odor fighters, we have found the cause of the stink in our house and resolved it completely! Hallelujah! Turns out it was sewer gas and all of you that told me to pour water down the drain were right! We didn't know that there was a second floor drain in our basement that had gone totally neglected all this time, only to blast sewer gasses through the house in greater and greater portions for the past month. Thankfully we didn't have a massive explosion or any psychotic behavior- any more than usual anyway. 

Speaking of being thankful, I can never fully express my gratitude for the answer to our prayers to come home. This time last year we were anticipating a moving date and truly had an end in sight to our- adveture- in California. Weeks before as the season of joy approached, we were fighting a constant undercurrent of sadness on account of being so far away.

I don't know why God loves us the way He does.  It seems His blessing will never cease, even though my failures seem to veil the true intentions of my heart toward Him over and over again.  But I am thankful, completely and totally thankful.  God has blessed my life and given me every good and perfect gift in my life. 

So Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours and as you count your blessings, name them one by one!

If I were still using Facebook...

If I were still using Facebook, I would list my productivity on my status as follows:
This morning before nine o'clock I: cleaned our room, walked two miles, cleaned out the pantry, watered  the yard, and did all the laundry. 

I am glad that I don't get on Facebook anymore because I always thought it was so annoying that people wrote their completed to-do lists as  their status.  But this morning I thought of them fondly and could relate to their intentions in doing so. 

Here's something really cool that happened this morning to boot.  Leila opened the cabinet and stood in mouth-open-awe at the lovely display of cans and boxes neatly organized in grocery store fashion.  Instant gratification.  Someone recognized and appreciated my work. 

What I don't want to tell you is that I... didn't make Dale anything to take in his lunch this morning.  The only thing he had for to eat for breakfast was the last couple of packages of instant oatmeal.  He couldn't find the snacks he usually takes to work because most of them were- gone.  Hence the cleaning of the pantry.  He asked why we didn't have so many things.  I couldn't answer until I opened the door to the pantry and realized that it only looked full because it was full of mostly empty boxes that needed to be cleaned out.

And also I couldn't find the dogs this morning so I assumed they were upstairs with the kids.  I went to bed early and from total exhaustion last night and missed a few details.  One of those being the dogs.  They slept in the basement.  And pooped on the floor.  Nasty. 

But I got a lot of things done today and by golly, I am excited about it!

I am wondering if we have a dead mouse in our air conditioning ducts.  Every time the air conditioner kicked on yesterday I was overcome by that awful stench.  I know it well because we had mice way back when we lived in the country.  So far we have not had mice here, but I know that smell.  Any advice I rooting it out?  I can't risk the decomposure of a mouse in the ducts when it's time to turn up the heat!

lvb 

Leila's 5!!!

At least I get the camera out for birthdays...  It's birthday season here! 

WOOHOO!  YAY YAY YAY LEILA!!!

We have minimized our birthday obsessions for the kiddos this year, so I only had two presents for Leila to open. 

One was this knitted bear.  I made it a hat and scarf too, but since the day she opened the package it's been MIA.  That's the breaks around here.

Dale's mom and dad, Aunt Angie and his cousin Lisa all came to celebrate with us.  It was a beautiful night so after we ate we all sat around in lawn chairs in the front yard.  That's my favorite.

We also had a huge princess party at my mom's but I can't seem to find any photos from that day.  ugh.  I feel so scattered lately. 

So anywayss, Happy Birthday, Lol!! 

Trebo's 8!!!

So Tre turned 8 a few months ago... in August and here is a teeny memoir of this joyous celebration.  This party took place with our church family at our house.  See what I meant earlier?  I made the cake and he decorated it with M&Ms.  Sometimes I'm a total slacker.

Clearly here is another cake from our party with Dana and family.  I don't know why I don't have more pictures.  Poor Trebo.  His memory will have to do the job.

We also had a party with my a bunch of my family that came for the weekend to celebrate Tre and Gavin, my nephew.  Somehow I didn't get a single photograph of the party.  My brother, T.R. has some px on Facebook if you are curious.  My mom made the cutest army cake with rock candy and a battle scene.  She also brought camo handkerchiefs (chieves?) for everyone which was super fun!  But did I snap a single picture?  Nope.  It's pregnancy... I lose all my marbles in the process of growing a life.  It's legit, I think, but none the less frustrating.

Anyway, Happy Birthday sweet Trebo!  You are amazing!!

Gram's Birthday

You thought I was kidding?  I kept trying to capture the sweetness of the birthday girl,and this is what kept taking over! 

 

Last May, Grams came to Emporia to celebrate her birthday with the crew.  It was quite a party!  The is my Uncle Bubba next to her.  It's strange to watch him age.  He has crazy Hook eyebrows and a bald head, but he's still just as charming as ever.  I have always adored him.

Jon and Cara blew us away when they showed up just about the right time for the party.  No one knew they were coming FROM NEW MEXICO!  I love surprises, and they are rare for me because no one in my house can keep a secret.  But this time we are all in shock.  I know it freaked Cara out that I kept hugging her over and over, but it was like a dream!  When we were in California she was a lifeline for me.  We spent lots of time on the phone feeling stranded and far away from the rest of the world, but somehow together.  Seeing them was just amazing.  Here's Cara with Stephanie.

 Mel and T.R. got to be there for the weekend too, which is always fun.  I have also been so blessed to have them living basically blocks away from me.  My kids have cousins that they will get to grow up with and see more than twice a year!  LOOOOOVE IT!!  Kennedy has become quite the kitchen helper in her pre-teen condition.  Jas too! I think it makes them feel a little more grown up to be in the kitchen with the women.  I love that too.

These two crack me up.  All three two-year-old girls are fireballs so the combination is totally unpredictable!  They are taking time out for a foot massage.  I'm surprised that thing is still intact as much play as it got during that weekend!

Alexa and Jasmine are BFF.  They have so much in common, being lovers of make-up and fashion.  They are also both middle children, which gives them the whole world of common ground.  I know this from personal experience.

Nana was in motion for the entire weekend.  She's always such a gracious host no matter how high the numbers of people get; and she's looking so cute in her trendy new digs! 

My dad was in motion all weekend too except when he was napping in a recliner.  It's all or nothing with him.  I always try to get up early enough to meet him at the breakfast table.  It's the best time to sit and chat; he hasn't started any of his projects for the day yet and he's not exhausted from working his projects yet.  Sometimes I can't make it early enough after burning the midnight oil with my mom the night before.  That's the best time to chat with her, after the chaos of a house full of people dies down.  I love them both so much!

This is my brother, Jon.  I always love it when he is around because he loves to play board games.  One year someone brought Balderdash to Christmas.  We had a crazy time playing that, mostly because boys are super naughty, and we all revert to being teenagers on some level when we are together.  It's all part of the fun.  He's holding the giant guinea pig, Buffalo.  Can you believe that thing?  It looks like a muskrat in this picture!  My mom took a bunch of pictures if Leila holding him and he looks as big as a cat!   

Here's proof of constant hugging!  Isn't she pretty?  She has such simple elegance about her.  She looks so meek and mild but under all that sweetness, She's a wild and crazy gal.  Believe it!     

Zane and Micah, also BFF.  

Aunt Kim and my cousin Leah, sweet Leah.  When I was fourteen I made a trip across country with these two and the other two siblings in their family.  Leah was two.  On that trip I was mostly in charge of her and people kept asking if she was mine.  I couldn't have been more proud!  She was such a funny kid and soooooo cute with her little redhead and sparkling blue eyes.  I prayed and prayed that I would have one like her.  SURPRISE! Four of em!  Isn't God funny?   

Uncle Jeff and his spunky wife Lynette.  He is sweet and quiet.  She's the wild one in their house.   

Of course my fancy-lady Sista and her new husband Jon.  I don't know what I'd do without this girl.  I used to wish we had more sisters, but now I'm glad we don't.  There's just not enough time in one night for more than two girls to gab and get everything said!

So here's another snippet of my crew.  I know; I am the luckiest.

lvb 

Deisha

Maybe I forgot to mention Deisha's birthday... did I?  I just loaded all the photos from my camera and did a quick run through this years blog posts.  For some reason I failed to mention her birthday and a few others... so here we go. My apologies if this is a repeat. Today, Deisha.

This cake was super fun to make and sooooo simple.  The terets and columns are made from ice cream cones, melted almond bark, and cherry chips.  The bricks are marshmellows.  The rest is pretty obvious.  I found a picture online that morning and voila!  We had a castle!  I feel bad when I am the lazy mom that makes a box cake and lets the kids decorate it with M & Ms.  Sometimes that's just what they want, though, so I don't feel bad for long. 

Dale's grandparents hadn't had a chance to come visit our new house until this weekend so we were thrilled to have them join our party.  This is Grandpa Welker.  Also you can see Nana and Cousin Luke in the background blowing up the balloons.  I love it when Kennedy wears that skirt with skinny jeans. 

This may be the only photograph of Deisha smiling out of the whole bunch.  The majority of the pictures are of her in just a diaper with her arms crossed in front of her, and her face in a terrible scowl!  I gotta tell you, birthday overload never produces good fruit! 

Here is another batch of our precious family: Nana, Aunt Sarah, Keegan, and Jas are in the forefront; Gavin and Hayden are in the background.  I love having my house full of people.  When I'm not pregnant I love it more.  I didn't know I was pregnant at this party so I loved it fully in my ignorance.

And then we have Mawmaw, Bud and Leila added to the mix.

I continue to rejoice in the blessings of our family being in close proximity.  It's such sweet bliss to be able to escape our house and run to theirs on a whim if we want to.  I've been feeling a little lost in other areas of my life.  It's hormonal, but feels just as real as true sadness.  Dale is so good to remind me to be thankful for what we do have in our family.  That snaps me right out of it.  I mean that usually snaps me out of it.  Sometimes I'm just unreasonable and cry anyway.  HA!  I might be crazy.

lvb

Falling...

It may not officially be fall, but oh my stars... I am in love!  This weather makes everything better; it's like the cherry on top of every blessing in my life.  The mornings are so crisp and fresh, I just can't get enough of it.  If there are anymore pregnancies in my future, I must pray that they encompass the fall. It curbs the edge brought on by my wacky hormones.

We are spending this weekend in town with our Nana and Papa and Aunt Sarah.  Nana and the boys are making plastic canvas boxes, the girls are watching Sleeping Beauty and napping after a late night of movies and giggling, and Papa is putting the floor down in the basement.  It's John Wayne Saturday on AMC; our lives our full. 

Dale is headed out for a weekend with Marty who is in town for a speaking engagement, so he didn't get to join our fall festivities in Emporia.  I'm not too worried about him though.  I'm sure he'll manage juuuuust fine.

So anywaysss.... I hope you are all revelling in the joys of fall, spending lots of time outside breathing deeply, and embracing the entrance of a new season!

Crazy Love

I've just finished one of the most motivating books I've read in a long time.  Have you heard of this?

I can honestly say this was a wake up call for me.  A lot of my life I have worked hard to please God; constantly trying: trying to read my Bible more, trying to pray more fervently and consistently, trying to force my character to behave like His.  In these pages I found that what God wants is not the trying, He just wants me- all of me.  It seemed a bit of a conundrum at first because how can I give Him more of me without trying?  But what it comes down to is this.  If I pursue Him out of a heart of love instead of some sense of moral duty, I am giving Him all of me, moment by moment.  That in itself reciprocates a deeper love and longing for Him which returns a produce of the fruit that I have begged Him to grow in me for so long.

In this book there are stories of people that are obsessed with loving God and how that love manifests itself in the world in tangible ways.  That's what I want in my life- I want to be known by the love of God not by some talent or capability that I have.  Those things are easy and natural- but they only give the appearance of good.  The only good in me is the love that can only be manifested in me when I have spent myself in pursuit of the Giver of all good things.  It's the only thing that amounts to anything in this life. 

It's simple and yet complex enough to hang our existence on.  When I actively love God, I will automatically love others and all these things will fall into perfect alignment with that love.  So why I am striving to build sand castles in this life with the working and hustling and cleaning and fretting over peoples opinions of me?  If I spent a quarter of that energy in my pursuit of God I would be living a completely different life in no time. 

Oh that my life would be full and spent in anticipation of things to come long after this vapor has faded!

Monday, Happy Monday!

I think about this blog a lot during the day.  If I could be down here writing all the time, and it's probably a good thing I can't, I would. 

Let me first apologize for not including more pictures.  I really don't like it when people post web cam photos of themselves in every post just to fancy it up.  It seems silly.  You know what I look like; it only changes when I am pregnant or have a major event coming up that I want to be skinnier for.  What you are really hoping to find is a photograph of my kids or our house or something creative- like a bug or a project.  You don't want to see me with my frumpy "stay in the house all day" hair and my smeared mascara from last night because I don't shower until we are about ready to walk out the door or Dale is about to walk it...  It's just the way it is.  I know you, the few, the faithful, will return and read- if not skim- this post; dazzling photos or not!  It's because you love me.  And reading blogs is fun.

The thing I think about the most, besides not having pictures because Sandy told me I need them, is that this is sort of a confessional.  I'd much rather you come here to read something charged with insight, or some snippet of wisdom I picked up somewhere, or something them challenges you to change it up somehow.  I'd really love for this to be like the Chesterton days, when I was reading real literature and sharing deep thoughts about God and His ways.  Unfortunately my reading is choppy and scattered and so are my thoughts.  I've been trying to get through the first chapter of a book I picked up from the library by John MacArthur for several days; there just isn't any uninterrupted time in my day.  I am trying to remedy that, but it's tough when your kids aren't napping anymore!  So naturally, the meditations of my heart are scattered.  Is there a way to create depth in your life when you are in my shoes with big kids little kids and kids in-utero?  Seriously, if you have found it, please call me.  Getting up early is a legitimate option, but it's not very practical in the rhythm of our life.  Anything else?

I keep missing the point.  I want to share a lot of the things I think about here because I know you think about them too.  But I'm not good at knowing what is right to share and what's not.  You don't care.  I think you would love it if I just spilled my guts.  Especially now- I'm so self-absorbed when I'm pregnant.  (ha ha, Dale.  MORE self-absorbed when I'm pregnant.) 

It's no wonder I am having a break-down every other day.  When you are fixated on yourself and your life all the time, it's easy to see flaws everywhere.  See I'm kind of an idealist.  I want things to go a certain way, the way they should go.  And when they don't, I cry.  Or yell.  It's because I am abiding in Becca and not in Christ.  Pray for me.  I am really struggling.  I feel super vulnerable and super defensive at the same time.  At the risk of looking pathetic I am not sharing my feelings outside these four walls, but I am on the verge of tears when I go out.  It's taking serious fortitude to make myself go anywhere.  It's part of being pregnant and being me. I am not "putting on" the virtues that are so critical to our faith- especially the one I was just touting days ago on the this blog.  But I feel sort of breakable and it's easier just to hunker down and hide out with my crew- they ask why I'm crying and believe me when I say I'm just tired. 

On a happy note, I've been trying to get the camera out despite all my groanings about it earlier, because I keep catching the little girls doing funny stuff.  Micah, however, has been using my camera for stop-motion videos and is mid-project every time I want to capture a moment.  Like yesterday; I walked into the kitchen to find Deisha sitting at the bar on a stool in her diaper.  She had rigged her nightgown up like a cape by hanging it over her head and putting Tre's winter hat over it to hold it.  It was the funniest thing!  She is so imaginative and I love it!!!  Just cracks me up, but it would have been way cuter with a photo and subtitle. 

It's all about the juggling.  I'll get all the balls in the air eventually. 

lvb

Co-op and Stuff

I have to tell you, the co-op was not what I expected.  We were happily surprised to see lots of children in each of the kids' age groups- which shouldn't have been a surprise being that I had a kid in almost every class.  They all had lots of fun and I was in the nursery for most of the day.  Listen. I'm not a nursery gal.  I did it and it was fine, but I did not love it.  I was, however, grateful for the taco soup at the end of the tunnel!  It's silly, but knowing that I had dinner in the crockpot made it so much easier not to stop at a drive-through on the way home.  The kids were practically begging.  One mention of taco soup shut it down.  Seriously!  There is no doubt that if I had not made dinner it would have been double cheeseburgers all the way.
Poor Dale did not get his QT hot dog, not from me anyway.  By the time he and Leila made it home from their special day, I was already in jammies and snuggled down for the night.  Actually by 6:00 I was dressed for bed and clocked out for the day.  It wasn't that the day was labor intensive, really, I just... I'm kind of a whiny-pants and my energy doesn't go very far.  It doesn't help that I've abandoned my healthy eating and exercise, so I am running on simple sugars and carbohydrates and minimal protein.  They run out pretty quickly... and I'm surprised? 

My moods swing more drastically too.  I've gone from elation to deep, deep sadness, to explosive hostility in a matter days- hours even.  It's the food.  It has to be the food.  There are ways of managing this pregnancy and I am not doing it.  Pray for me!  ARGH!!!  It's a mountain I fear I will never get over.